Suddenly, without giving a rip what the people in the car next to you are thinking, you begin to scream uncontrollably. Then, after you get home, and the tear wells have dried up, you sit staring blankly out of the window and think to yourself, "If I just had someone to hold me."
Extensive research has been conducted on babies and the positive effects of physical touch versus neglect. While taking a course on interpersonal communication, one particular study revealed that babies who received touch were healthier physically, mentally and emotionally; and the babies who were neglected would often die.
Dr. Chapman claims that, "Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. To the person whose primary love language is physical touch, the message will be far louder than the words "I hate you" or "I love you."
According to the book "The Five Love Languages" more often than not, the way you receive love is the way you give love. A licensed massage therapist (LMT) by trade, you might assume that my primary love language is physical touch. You would be correct.
Years ago, I lost my closest friend, love, and confident through a tragic death. Coming from a family that is not huge on hugs and kisses, I just needed someone to hold me. At the time, I was living by myself in an apartment.
I will never forget the night my mother came over.
We didn't do a lot of talking. It was as if she instinctively knew what I needed. She just sat on the futon next to me and held me for a long time, as I violently sobbed. Without verbalizing it, that single act of loving kindness spoke volumes to me, saying, "I love you, I'm here for you and I won't let you go."
Me and Mom
*Side Note* Dr. Chapman will speaking at the Schuster Center this Saturday, May 21, 2011 to a sold out audience. I was sad that I didn't get tickets in time, but happy to know that his book is still touching the lives of many. If you are interested in checking out other events go to http://www.garychapman.org/calendar.htm.
This a tragic post! Even though the idea of needing people in your lowest moments is an old idea. I would also say that sometimes people don't want others to see them suffer. Hence, people just hide and suffer by themselves. Thank for the post it was great! nice job!
ReplyDeleteI agree, touch is important when displaying affection. In my geography class, we watched a video from China that showed a orphanage with over 50 babies and only two people to take care of them. Often, the babies would cry and their bottles would fall from their faces and no one was there to pick the bottle up. No one was there to console them or just pick them up and they cried. We're are the same way even as adults. If no one is there to pick up the pieces that hold us together, we will become a wreck.
ReplyDeleteGood post and I'm sorry about your loss.
This was a very intense post - it had a very strong opening, especially. I can relate, although on a lesser level - one of our cats had to be euthanized about three years ago.
ReplyDeleteI've always found I prefer to be alone when experiencing pain or grief, though, so maybe touch is not my "love language."